The Uruguay Journal

I stole this red pen from a cup on the desk back at home. It sucks. Why couldn't I lost this one at the airport instead of my nice black one? Oh well, I should have brought various things with me to Uruguay, that for some reason, I thought I should better leave at home. I'll just use this Duty Free catalogue to write down my random thoughts. Today I'd like to make myself a reminder for future travels: When shopping, always check out the little decorative travel-sized soaps. They are a great comfort and perhaps company while far away from home. Also, TAMMY, you are a total IDIOT for not bringing any notebook to write in. DOH@ You know how addicted you are to writing - why didn't you bring something to write in?! My lips and skin are dry and now I wish I would have brought my blistex with me. At least I brought a good lotion.

Okay, I'm sick of myself now. Goodnight, Tammy.

[Edit: New entries are depicted by 3 stars.]

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Today, hmm... I can't seem to think of anything good to write. Except that maybe I miss my computer.

Gloves would have been nice for the bike ride to the the Eagle today... but I survived without them. I've been eating better since I've been here which will probably be a nice influence on the diet and exercise I'll subject myself too the rest of this summer. I DON'T intend on living the same pathetic life in college, that I lived in high school. Eugh! I'm glad it's over beause I think I'm beginning to feel a little more clear-headed. Uruguay has changed since I was last here... the people have changed; that's sad. The people Uruguay were what I loved so much about it. The land, as well. now it's run down, poorer, in a depression. It makes me appreciate my home in the U.S.

***

I promised Erica that I'd take pics for her and I haven't taken any. I know I'm off subject but what I REALLY miss is writing. I really should have brought a notebook. This summer I got a few goals I want to accomplish. First, I want to re-do my room so that it will be more comfortable and practical for college. Second, I want to get healthier to that physically and mentally I'll feel better. This past year in high school has been (now that I've thought about it) BY FAR THE WORST SCHOOL YEAR OF MY LIFE! Even worse that third grade, which was pretty bad too. I could probably write a book about it and get rich off of future generation adolescents. Life the author of Catcher in the Rye did... For my room I definitely want to repaint it... but in what colors? And I wanna get one of those light pictures you hang on the wall. Some plants... an air purifier... it should be my haven. I would love to remodel and have another window on the other wall but that would cost too much. Eh, I'm getting tired now... and I miss Ale. Goodnight again.

***

I never thought I'd like my sweats as muchas I do now. Aah how warm and cozy they are. But Damn how I miss my notebook. Let's see if I find a page that's kinda plain so I can make a list of comfort items for myself the next time I travel - especially to a cold place. Nope, they're all pretty much the same.

• 2 toothbrushes and flosses
• perfume
• hair styling products
• make up
• more warm clothes
• more clothes in general haha

***

Bah! I already finished my book and I've still got a whole week ahead of me... That will teach me to travel with only one book. I've got lots of books I haven't fully read or have not read at all in my bookshelf. This summer I'll have to read them. Urrrgh, I've a persistent itch on my left leg. I'll blame the cold for it. I love this Nightwish CD I made. The songs are so beautiful. "Oh how I wish to go down with the sun, sleeping, weeping with you..." That's from the song "Sleeping Sun."

***

I miss the warm summer weather of California. However, I don't miss the mucky atmosphere. It makes me wan't to exercise and werar fashionable clothing. Knowing myself though, I'll proby have not achieved any of the goals I've set for myself by the end of August. Oh August 30, my classes will start at OCC. Although I love writing, science and math cause me far less stress. So I'm pretty sure I'll end up majoring in something scientific. I can always write on my own.

***

Hmm, how should I decorate my room? I need and inspiration; some pictureds from which I can pluck color schemes and mimic patterns. or I could just start by thinking of something I like - Asian things, like the stuff that is describe in Memoirs of a Geisha. The beautiful materials and patterns. But hmm that will be very difficult because I don't have the book with me, soo...

I like the icture on the back of this pamphlet. It looks very natural and fresh. Like early morning fog on the moors. Eh, I dunno, it sounds like what I really want to do is turn my bedroom into a garden, far away from Santa Ana and all it's shit. So, maybe I should work in the garden? I'd be sure to get lots of sunight and fresh air everyday. But... I'd need to actually picture it. Plus it'd be very expensive and I don't have a job. I wan't my nail polish and I wan't countless other things I'm sure i wouldn't even use if I had. The only things I'd probably actually use are a notebook and some clay (for my hands, to keep them warm).

***

Know what? I'm glad there's only one week let. How sad, i used to love being here but now, i dunno why, I don't. Maybe I'm just not myself cuz I didn't sleep well at all last night due to some mysterious stomach pains. "I need a new identity." I gotta get rid of this pamphlet before someone finds it and reads it... Sleepy, agitated me. I've got the summer to create that "new identity" for myself. The weather is not good today. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Hopefully.

***

Shit I'm running out of space in this thing.

***

Those teenage magazines and books that say to get help if you think you need it are a bunch of bullshit. I think a lot of people who go into the field of psychology only do it because they think they need a shrink. And by cecoming a psychologist they can cure themselves of whatever mental ailment it is that plagues them. To be honest, that would be my reason if I ever decided to study it, but I won't. The idea of even doing that pisses me off. I'm not exactly surew hy but I'd rather not try and figure it out either.

***

Hello World,

I am sick of you now.

Sincerely,

Tammy

***

This window sucks. It is so squeaky, it hurts my ears.

***

I'm kinda hungry I supposed I should just go to sleep and try to gorget about it but I don't want to. I can't even see what I am writing because I took off my glasses. Oh well, my hand knows how to make out each word so i am fine. I shoudl have brought a pencil with me...

***

Election day. Cars honking down the street. 11.30 pm. Weird. Yup, that's very interesting, I know. Now, goodnight.

***

It'd be nice to be able to write.

***

"On a special day, what is most remembered, immortalized, is not how you felt, but what you did." Well, today is Tuesday, I think. I can't seem to keep track of the days. It is the their night that I am sick with SOMETHING, I dunno what, but hopefully these stomach pains will go away soon. It sucks to be sick in Uruguay. Somehow I manage to get sick when I should be having a good time. Oh, and it's also the first time in, years, I guess, that I puke. Great, huh?

***

Dreams are plaguing me. Just now I woke up from a dream where I could not see well through the glasses that I see perfectly through in real life. Also, as I walked down the street and came to the intersection of Bristol and Central, I noticed the traffic lights had 3 colors... but not the 3 colors I was expecting. There were res and yellow, those where normal but there was also purple. No green. So when the light turned green I wasn't sure if I should go or not. Luis was in my dream and was acting usunailly nice to me. it was prom night and the driver, one of Luis's friends, took off without me in the parking lot. They took off IN MY CAR! URGH THAT PISSED ME OFF. Let me just say that high schoolers are WEIRD.

***

Thank God we were on our way back home and we were pretty close to home already. We drove around Montevideo all day and around 5.00pm, with the truck loaded full of shit (furniture, groceries, etc.), the motor started talking to us rather loudly. Pop, Pop, Pop. A noisy noise it was making. Even the guy at a store halfway down the block hear it. Edith asked im is she could use the phone and call for a tow truck. The truck did come and Edith and I were going to tak ethe bus, but at the last minute we diceid not to. Dad and Grandpa rode with the drive of the tow truck and Edith and I crouched down and rode in the backseat of our broken down dtuck, illegally haha. heh, in the U.S. I would never be found doing that. Rules and all... It was a nice ride anyway.

***

Friday, Mightnight - Duh, stupid stomach! Must you always put me in pain in the middle of the night?! This is the 4th time I've had an episode of I-don't-know-what. It's a pain, a feeling somehwere between a spasm and heartburn. usually it last a coupel or hours, slowly increasing in intensity and decreasing in intensity equally as fast. It hits me right in the solar plexus (as Enrico Brizzi puts it ;) and I can fell it thought to my back. Today was the worst. It was so bad I couldn't breathe normally, I felt dizzy, and I was shaking a little. I think it's something I ate in the saldad or a combination of those somethings in the salad. No more sald for me at all. It never happened before. Maybe I just recently developed an alergy? Who knows?

***

Instead of throwng this thing away so that nooon will read it, I think I'll rewrite all the stuff I wrote in a cheep little notebook to keep as a memory. it hasn't been the nicest vacation, but at least I have the memoreis recoreded so I can look back and smile upon them in the future.

***

Saturday - it's late and tomorrow I leave to go back to California. I'm going to be nice and sleepy on the plane. It seems as if a sotrm is brewing up, from the way the waves are breaking on the beach. Hopefully the glight will be fine. Yea, now I don't want to leave, it's too soon.

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The Stories: "The Selfish Giant" by Oscar Wilde, "The Vision of Mirzah" by Joseph Addison, "An Alpine Divorce" by Robert Barr, "A Desperate Adventure" by Max Adeler, "The Paradise of Children" by Nathaniel Hawthorne

The List:

• scarf
• gloves
• chapstick
• hat
• lotion
• slippers
• clay
• books
• journal
• perfume
• good soap